Progress!

Hey guys!
The past few days have been busy and I'm happy to say I am still going strong. I am just so thankful to God that this time is different. I've realized that it's impossible to do this until you are truly ready for it. I've spent the better part of that last four years praying every night that the next day I would be strong enough. That it would stick this time. I came so close to giving up hope. I came so close to just throwing my hands in the air and saying "Screw it! Clearly I'm never going to want it enough to change. I'll just stay this way forever.". Thank God I didn't. Two weeks before Christmas, I was laying in bed watching my daughter sleep in her play pen beside me and I was screaming out to God more than ever before. I just couldn't understand why my perfect little girl wasn't enough. Why wanting so desperately to watch her grow up wasn't enough for me to kick this addiction. I prayed so hard. I told God I have given up. I told Him that I have no strength left and the only way I was going to do this and succeed was by giving Him complete control because I had nothing left in me to give.
I went to sleep that night thinking I'd wake up and I would be making the same poor decisions I always did, but that's not what happened. Something shifted. I spent the next week before Christmas making far healthier decisions, starting to work out again and refrained from diving into Christmas junk head first. I certainly indulged, but not to the extent that I typically do. January 2nd came and I woke up knowing I'm going to do this. There was no doubt in my mind. I'm here and I am ready. I owe all that to God because I certainly did not get any of that from myself.

So with that said, I am down 6 pounds so far! Yay. Chugging right along on this healthy living train and I am LOVING it. I feel so much better. My mind is clearer. I have more energy and I don't feel groggy all the time. Which, when you have a 4 month old baby, is a wonderful thing. I made the decision within the first few days of starting this that I was not going to allow myself a cheat meal until after day 21. I just want to make sure I'm settling comfortably into my new lifestyle before I allow myself any sort of indulgence. After that, I will allow myself one day a week of my choosing to have one cheat meal. I am not someone who thinks that I can't have ice cream ever again in my life or else I'll fall off the wagon. If anything I think the opposite (not just for me, but for anyone trying to lose weight), if I bottle my temptations for too long, I'm far more likely to binge and go way overboard. I'll feel guilty, throw myself a pity party, eat more junk and it becomes a vicious cycle. I highly recommend anyone trying to lose weight to allow themselves 1 day a week or even 1 day biweekly to allow yourself something that you crave.

Not much else to update on. I am writing down everything I eat and drink, as well as logging my workout time. I've started working out 3 days a week, which I will continue this week and next week I'll be stepping it up and exercising 4 days a week. Once I'm a month or so into my journey, I plan to be working out 5 days a week for two hours or more if Ainslee allows. I'll also be doing workouts involving my daughter! For any Mommy's interested, I'll post those work outs and pictures to reference. It's difficult to get much of any spare time when you have a baby, so including them in what you're doing is a fun and easy way to get that burn in without compromising time with baby. I apologize for this post being all over that place haha.
I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Sending everyone positive vibes. :)